7(ish) Lessons From Cancer

I turned 40 in August, 2024, and went in for my first mammogram shortly thereafter. It came back questionable, as they often do, so I had another, and then a biopsy that confirmed what they were seeing in the scan.

When I got the news, I was on a roll in my business. I was hosting and attending networking events regularly, my 1-1 on practice was growing, and I was ready to launch the next Queer MBA GrowHort.

When I got the news, the whole calendar went into the digital trash bin. It was time to slow down.

I remember telling friends, this is the perfect time for something like this to happen; business is flowing and I know what I am doing to make it flow - so I will just start it back up when I return.

In the early days of my coaching business, most of my work activities involved “getting new clients.” In my 4th and 5th years, things were recalibrating, but enrolling still took a lot of energy.

For my recovery, I stopped most of my outreach activities for ~3 months and took 2+ weeks off from all coaching calls.

I learned how to quit - and I savored the time of rest and embraced my fatigue as best I could. I let go and fully received the amazing support from my family, my partner, and my community and it was such a gift.

After a few months of rest, I was excited to get back to my tried and true “getting new clients” activities - the only problem was - I no longer enjoyed them!

My biggest symptom from recovery was fatigue. Fatigue is not something I am used to experiencing - but I learned very quickly that if I don’t listen, I will pay.

So I listened and I stopped doing things that I didn’t want to do. Which worried me because they were the things I had finally figured out actually worked. But I listened nonetheless.

And each time I quit, my business continued on, five amazing business owners joined the QueerMBA, colleagues referred potential clients to schedule Joy Rides, and the people found me - even when I wasn’t overextending myself to do things that “I thought I should.”

As I recap 2025, my premonition in January seems correct - it was the perfect time to slow down my business. The work I have done over the past 5 years to build relationships continues to ripple forward.

I received so much love and support from my community - meal trains, washing dishes, and spending such sweet time together. My journey on the big sea connected me with dear ones who were on their own healing journeys and we got to support each other and walk together.

When I found out the news, I had some big decisions to make - there are many different avenues for treating breast cancer.

First, I sought advice, insight, and stories from those who have walked this path before me.

And then I listened to myself and my body.

I chose to have a double mastectomy which would allow me to skip radiation + chemo. My main focus was to prepare and create the space to have a healthy and full recovery from the significant surgery.

I found my own intuition and knowing. A practice I have been cultivating my whole life. One that has been deepened and strengthened through my coaching practice. One that I now lean on when I face a new business opportunity, a creative idea, or a shiny object.

I was totally freaked out when I realized how much time I would need to take off. My business had been growing each year and I was excited by what I projected for 2025 - until I realized that was just not going to happen.

So I shifted my focus from the numbers to what actually mattered to me - connection, quality of life, enjoying my clients, embracing the moment, learning and growing at each step of the way, and so I let go of those original goals and decreased my targets to decrease the pressure.

As the year wraps up - the numbers are better than I expected, but more importantly, my sense of satisfaction and pride in my work and my role within my community is the truly gratifying goal achieved.

I interviewed so many folks who had this type of surgery - I don’t like pain and I wasn’t looking forward to being limited in my mobility. So I called in support and I prepared for the worst.

And then I experienced a sense of peace and calm that I have never experienced before. For one, I wasn’t in as much pain as I thought I was going to be (hallelujah) and I got to rest and spend time with my loved ones. Being willing to receive love and support was one of the greatest gifts of this journey.

🦄 The generous and loving humans who walked with me (and the many who walked before me to show me the way) thank you, thank you, thank you

🍓The skills and practices that kept me focused and connected (and the teachers who shared this wisdom with me)

💪🏻 My physical and emotional strength (both my body's miraculous ability to heal and repair and also my heart being willing to stay open and receptive).

While 2025 has been an incredibly challenging year - both across the world and in my own personal life - when I reflect back, this may just have been the best year of my life. Certainly a year I will look back on with fondness and a deep sense of love and gratitude for my relationships and the folks I get to deepen and connect with on this journey.

Thank you for hearing this version of my story - may it bring you into the present moment and lighten the load of any worries or uncertainties you may be carrying today.